Preseason Week 5: TS’s 6 Pack Abs Edition

Posted on August 16, 2010 by

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1. (1) Boobies In America

Heading into the Preseason homestretch, the Boobies war-room strategy is starting to take shape. GM Dennis Lazar is typically the league’s most savvy drafter. The only impetus to a championship seems to be the run of bad-luck that has typically befallen BIA. GM Lazar also took home the league’s first ever “Heroes In Action” award for his courageous battle with liver problems.

2. (6) He Man Woman Haters

GM Tom Aprik’s 25th Birthday is reason for celebration among the He Man Woman Haters fan-base. Will it be the only celebratory party the organization throws all year?

3. (2) Cincinnati Bowties

GM Will Kerridge is busy finalizing the deal to give the TCFFL draft a home. While he serves the league, the league itself is placing a large target on the Bowties back.

4. (3) Pacific Island Boys

GM Justin Thorington is focusing on league issues right now, including the drafting of an official league constitution, giving him an intimate knowledge of the league’s inner-workings that may pay off when the players hit the field.

5. (8) The Squad

After pictures were released of a passed out Squad GM Rob Lay surrounded by Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottles, many around the league are wondering if the Squad organization has the toughness to handle a 14 week season.

6. (4) Team Wiseau

A bevy of legal issues are facing Team Wiseau GM Jeff Spencer after his alleged DUI and Assault on a Police Officer arrest on Saturday night. Whether the Wiseau organization can weather these off-field distractions is yet to be seen.

7. (11) Way Too Much Shirt

Questions of compliance run amok on the WTMS training facility. If GM Mike Lay is found guilty of rumored 2 AM “wind-sprint” practices, he could face tough sanctions from the league.

8. (5) TMNT

After being cleared of rape charges despite convincing DNA evidence (the alleged victim turned out to be a male escort seeking a payday) GM Josh Thorington can put the ugliness behind him and turn his attention to the TMNT roster.

9. (7) Aptos Mudsharks

Rumors of anorexia are hounding Mudsharks GM Jason Anderson. Mudshark fans are worried: It’s a long season and Anderson will need all of the physical strength possible if he wants to compete.

10. (12) TD’s and Beer

Word on the street is that GM Nick Loynes was having an extramarital affair with the team psychologist, but the Little Giants organization is working hard to cover it up. If found to be true expect the TD’s to skyrocket up the rankings.

11. (9) No-Names

As the “jaja’s” get old, the No-Names and GM Dylan Thorington reach the headlines for all the wrong reasons.

12. (10) Italian Ice

Rumblings around the league say a few of the TCFFL managers are wondering if former GM Aldrich’s expulsion from the league wasn’t premature. A 0 email week from GM Nick Pinto isn’t winning him any new allies among the league’s top brass.

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