Week 1 Recap

Posted on September 14, 2010 by


With Week 1 of the Traverse City – Flint Fantasy Football League in the books, let’s take a look at the games, players and decisions from the first games of the most highly anticipated season to date.

 Boobies in America 102.78 vs. Ronald Weasels 119.82

The game of the week saw two developing enemy’s battle it out until the final snap.  Boobies in America GM Dennis Lazar’s and Ronald Weasles’ GM Tome Aprik’s battle started long before the season.  Aprik vowed to always vote opposite of Lazar while Lazar called Aprik out on his weasel-ness.  Wikipedia says the following about the weasel: “Weasels feed on small mammals, and have from time to time been considered vermin since some species took poultry from farms, or rabbits from commercial warrens. Certain species of weasel and ferrets have been reported to perform the mesmerizing weasel war dance, after fighting other creatures, or acquiring food from competing creatures.  Aprik is certainly dancing today as Ronald Weasels came from behind to beat Boobies in America.  The Weasels stars came to play as Philip Rivers, Miles Austin and Chris Johnson all scored above 20 pts.  Boobies in America got surprising efforts from Jay Cutler and Hakeem Nicks, but left too many points on the bench.

Statement from Aprik: “Scoring the most amount of points in the league in the first week proves that the Ronald Weasels are truly a contender this year and not a sub .500 team of last year.  I’m not saying we are perfect as our depth might not quite be there, yet.”

Way Too Much Shirt 111.44 vs. TMNT 105.1

This was the most surprising match of the week.  Not many gave Josh Thorington’s TMNT a chance against league powerhouse WTMS, especially after trading stud QB Peyton Manning.  It was close, but in the end a late surge from Jamaal Charles (acquired in that trade) was not enough to fend off Mike Lay’s WTMS. Only 3 of ‘Shirt’s players registered double-digit points, so Matt Forte’s 33.60-point-performance was essential as WTMS proved to be the best 4-letter-acronymed team, at least for this week.

The Aptos Mudsharks 115.92 vs. No Names 75.88

Nothing surprising here.  No Names, after a highly scrutinized draft, fail to put up 80 points on the board, but get a good performance out of Dallas Clark (19.50).  The question remains: “What will the No Names do?”  The real story of this match, however, is the performance of the Mudsharks’ big four: Peyton Manning (29.32), Chad Ochocinco (27.90), Steve Smith (16.00), and Ronnie Brown (15.50).  Mudsharks GM Jason Anderson gets bonus points for his aforementioned savvy trade with TMNT for Manning and for being the only GM to join Commissioner Thorington for the whole day. However, can Ochocinco and Brown continually give the ‘Sharks this kind of performance weekly?

Cincinnati Bow-Ties 104.38 vs. Italian ICE 50.32

Two words to describe this game: blowout and abysmal.  While Italian ICE, and the league for that matter, received a huge boost from recently added Co-GM Greg “The Egg/Dr. Love” Pinto, the players apparently didn’t get the memo putting up an abysmal 50.32 points en route to a blowout by two-time defending champions Cincinnati Bow-Ties.  While compared to preseason expectations from having the number 1 pick in the draft, some may say the Bow-Ties underperformed.  However, 6 Bow-Ties scored double-digit numbers in an industrial dismantling of an Italian ICE team carrying a “sleeper” tag.

Statement from Kerridge: “Listen, I’m not going to sugarcoat things, we came out a bit sluggish this week. AP underperformed, but the sign of a great team is one that can play poorly and still win. Thankfully, we have another bye week to prepare and get on the same page.”

Kerridge plays fellow-villain Dylan Thorington’s No Names in Week 2.

Wi(a)seau FC 77.12 vs. J Paper Thin Skins 115.82

Someone buy Arian Foster a beer.  Foster matched the preseason hype and then some scoring 42.30 points or 36.5% of the Skins’ points.  Wiseau FC’s fan base, while disappointed, is not surprised by the bad performance.  They have consistently been among the lowest scoring teams and scored the third lowest this week.  Meanwhile, ‘Skins fans, knowing they can’t type on this type of performance every week, are wondering who else will score.

Pacific Island Boys 82.48 vs. TD’s and Beer 99.32

Bore of the week. The Pacific Island Boys on score 3 touchdowns and were letdown by Ryan Grant who left the game early with an ankle injury.  Meanwhile, TD’s and Beer, led by consummate pro Tom Brady’s (22.32 points) 3 touchdowns and Jahvid Best’s (18.10) 2 touchdowns.  Much like Waseau FC, the bottom-dwelling ‘Boys are expected to do much more this year, but they will need better performances from everyone if they want to meet this expectations.

High Scores

QB: Peyton Manning (Sharks) – 29.32

WR: Chad Ochocinco (Sharks) – 27.90

RB: Arian Foster (Skins) – 42.30

TE: Dallas Clark (Who?) – 19.50

K: John Kasay (FA) – 13.00; Mason Crosby (TMNT) – 12.00 

DEF: Seattle (FA) – 19.00

Team: Ronald Weasels – 119.82

Left it on the Bench:

QB: David Garrard (Skins) – 19.80

WR: Austin Collie (Skins) – 24.00

RB: Knowshon Moreno (Boobies) – 12.90

TE: Todd Heap (Waseau FC) – 10.20

Posted in: Recap