GM Dylan Thorington Remodels 2P1D, Resorts to Voodoo

Posted on September 22, 2010 by

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After windy preseason talk, 2 Penises 1 Dylan GM Dylan Thorington found his team in the fantasy doldrums. After two defeats of over 40 points and only scoring 140 points after two weeks, Thorington is wheeling and dealing.

On Tuesday, 2P1D traded fantasy stud Drew Brees to Cincinnati Bow-Ties for an upstart Michael Vick and fantasy mainstay Larry Fitzgerald. Then on Wednesday they traded Jeremy Maclin and Juliam Edelman to the Pacific Island Boys for Terrel Owens and surprise fantasy player Kevin Walters. Julian Edelman was included to make room for Owens and Walters and is not expected to make the Pacific Island Boys’ squad.

“I know that other GM’s have questioned my skills as a manager, but I don’t really give a s**t what they think. I’m trying to make my fans proud. I believe that has been shown with all that I have done and am still doing this week to put a winning product on the field,” says Thorington.

When asked about the trade, Pacific Island Boys GM Justin Thorington said, “I’m not sure if Walters can keep up this pace, especially with Andre Johnson on the team, and Terrell didn’t fit well in the locker room. I think his results on the field exemplified that. Also, we feel like we have enough depth at wideout to release these two. We get a #1 receiver in Maclin, and we like that.”

In additions to trades, reports out 2P1D camp is that GM Thorington has been resorting to voodoo to help the team.  Thorington declined to comment.

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