Former “Smash” King has Eating Disorder

Posted on October 27, 2010 by

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(AP) – Mountain View, CA

Assistant Commissioner, King GM, and self-proclaimed “Smash” King Dennis Lazar has been hospitalized after it was discovered he had an eating disorder.  Friend and TCFFL Commissioner JG Thorington was worried about the health of Lazar when he began to show all of the signs of someone with an eating disorder.  When Thorington received this chat he called the EMS:

“I’m really worried about his health.  He only drinks energy drinks.  He doesn’t eat anything.  It’s sad that he is withering away.”

*Editorial Update: Due to the negligence of the Author, we regret to inform that the whole story was not told. Investigations have shown that GM Lazar had a dinner that consisted of a sandwich with filthy harvati cheese, cheezits, a personal pizza, and cookies. Lazar responded to press inquiries by saying, “It’s a shame in this age of sensationalist journalism, many facts get omitted or ignored all together. While I don’t deny that I have not been eating lunch the past two days, I have been more than making up for it with a filthy dinner.” The league is discussing possible sanctions against JG Thorington for irresponsible reporting.

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