Lazar’s Ouster Makes Way for Dictatorship

Posted on December 1, 2011 by

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Breaking News

Commissioner JG Thorington has announced that Boobies in America GM Dennis Lazar has been relieved of his Assistant Commissioner duties.  Citing severe paranoia, Thorington informed TCFFL General Managers that Lazar would no longer be the Assistant Commissioner early Thursday afternoon.  Lazar has come under fire of late due to his schizophrenic tendencies, talks of a curse, and extreme paranoia.

“It was hard to let him go,” said Thorington from his office in Tallahassee.  “The TCFFL was a better place when Lazar was on top of his game.  I hope Lazar is remembered for his contributions to this league and not his paranoia.  The TCFFL is a better place when he is 100%.  It’s a shame how quickly his mental stability deteriorated.”

Thorington extended offers to Ronald Weasels GM Tome Aprik and Cincinnati Bow-Ties GM Will Kerridge to fill the vacant Assistant Commissioner position, however both declined to accept the Commissioner’s offer.  Then, in what is possibly his last great contribution to the TCFFL, Lazar brilliantly suggested a dictatorship that the Commissioner immediately adopted.

While the effects of the dictatorship have yet to evolve, many fear this may be the beginning of the end of the once-proud TCFFL.

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