JG’s Big Board 2.0

Posted on August 21, 2012 by

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Less than a week away from the 2012-13 TCFFL Draft and GMs around the league are finalizing their strategies.  Read Commish JG’s latest predictions for the 1st Round.

1.  Blue Polaski’s Boys – Arian Foster. GM Mike Lay has cited direct contract talks with the Houston running back.

2.  Cincinnati Bow-Ties – Aaron RodgersNo one know if CBT GM Will Kerridge is just bluffing, but the lastest reports out of Indianapolis have the Bow-Ties reuniting with the Packers QB.

3.  Jackie Paper Thin Skins – Ray Rice. We have a feeling that Rob Lay, as much as he loves LeSean McCoy, will be ecstatic that Rice falls to #3.

4.  SHOWTIME – LeSean McCoy. It would be the smart money move here, but don’t be surprised if the enigmatic Loynes goes with Calvin Johnson.

5. Boobies in America – Tom Brady. It would be hard to imagine Boobies in America not avoiding formerly Madden-cursed Chris Johnson for curse-free, Michigan Man, stud boy Tom Brady.  It would be even harder to imagine Brady not suffering from a season-ending injury on the first snap.

6. Weekend at Bernie’s – Chris Johnson. The WaB fan-base is seriously worried about their GM’s ability to comprehend fantasy talent, but we can’t imagine GM Josh Thorington messing up this one.

7. Pacific Island Boys – Drew Brees. If Commish JG isn’t successful in trading up or down, we see him taking Brees.

8. Tommy Wiseau’s Close Quarter American Football Club – Maurice Jones-Drew. We believe his holdout will be over in time for the draft and look for Jeff Spencer-Coffman to make a move here.  Seriously, JSC drafting MJD to lead TWCQAFC to the TCFFL championship is just full of synergy.

9. Dumblethor’s Army – Darren McFadden. We have seen nothing to suggest a change in strategy for Dylan and DA.  As a matter of fact, we have seen nothing to suggest a strategy for the league’s least-involved GM.

10. Pitness Initiative – Larry Fitzgerald. An uptick in participation (from 0 emails to 3) makes us think that Jason Anderson has been preparing backstage. We see him going for Fitz here.

11. Ronald Weasels – Matt Forte. Nothing changed here.  We see Tome Aprik spending his pick on a back that didn’t have a single carry from inside the 9.

12. Italian Ice – Matthew Stafford. A year after leading Italian Ice to the promised land, look for Stafford to work his magic again as Pinto makes another run at a championship.

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