Dr. Feelgood

Posted on September 21, 2012 by


He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s the one that makes ya feel all right
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s gonna be your Frankenstein
I’ve got one thing you’ll understand (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s not what you’d call a glamorous man (Dr. Feelgood)
Got one thing that’s easily understood (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
Oh yeah
– Motley Crue
While Boobies in America General Manger Dennis Lazar is not what you would call a glamorous man, there is no doubt that the 2-0 start from the oft-cursed manager is the feelgood story of the early TCFFL season.  Lazar, also the Assistant Commissioner, has been under intense scrutiny for his refusal to produce any form of content for the league.  Those with intimate knowledge of how the Commissioner (JG Thorington) and Assistant Commissioner run the league actually credit the lack of content as the saving grace of the 2012 season.  It could also be the explaination for the hot start for Boobies in America – a start that has captured the mind and hearts of TCFFL fans and GMs alike.
“Having a hot start is something new for our team,” said Lazar. “Usually we’re clawing our way out of an early season basement. So on one hand, it’s nice to have a few early season wins that will give us a better shot at our ultimate goal: A Division and League Championship. On the other hand, it seems like every year the early-season leader ends up flaming out. We’re very cognizant of that. We’re also aware that the mainstream media in the TCFFL is trying to jinx us into the position of early-season success/late-season failure spot. But to be honest we don’t really care. BIA is as close knit as we’ve ever been. We are ignoring the outside chatter and just focusing on one week at time. This week it’s the Ice so the Ice is all this team cares about.”
Reigning TCFFL Champions Italian Ice, a team chastized for their draft, has also been an early season surprise and provide a second straight stiff test for BIA.  BIA overcame a 136 pt. performace from Cinicinnati Bow-Ties in Week 2.  After such an emotional win, the task for Lazar is to make sure his players get up for this game.
“Let’s face it: It’s a long season and there are going to be down weeks for ever team. The goal is to mitigate the damage that those low-scoring weeks do to your team overall. Ice is one of the league favorites this year and we want to come out strong against them. We’ve got some good match-ups this week and I think as long as we stay the course, the boys will be fine. We’re 2-0 and Drew Brees still hasn’t had a GREAT week yet. We stay motivated by staying optimistic and appreciating the opportunity to measure ourselves against a tough opponent,” Lazar stated.
A win over Ice would go a long way for the mental stability of the BIA leadership and fanbase – both of which are still haunted by The Curse. Lazar, however, seems undaunted. “Right now, I feel like Don Cheadle in the Donut Shop scene of Boogie Nights. 3 guys just killed each-other in a shoot-out and now there’s a bag of money laying on the ground. I want to take it and run, but am I just being set up? Is this divine intervention too good to be true? Are we just be lifted up so we have farther to fall? I guess you could say after a lifetime of living with this curse, becoming intimate with all of its ways and tricks, you could say I’m wary. This would be just like the Curse I know to set us up as a league favorite then have Drew Brees shoot himself in the knee during a hunting weekend or something stupid. It’s unfortunate but I’m jaded. But what can we do? As a team, as an organization, we push on. We can’t live in fear of the Curse.”
Only time will tell if BIA have truly kicked the curse, but for now it should be enough for Lazar and the world alike to simply enjoy the heartwarming story that is Boobies in America.
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