Fantasy Nihilism: Volume 2 – Hope Springs Eternal

Posted on October 19, 2012 by

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Just a quick reminder, Fantasy Nihilism is a feature about the hopelessness and utter depression caused by fantasy football. If you are looking for inspiration and hope, look elsewhere.

Let’s start with a letter.

Dear FN,

Where does the idiom “hope springs eternal” come from?

Thanks,

Elliot in Snoquallom, WA

Thanks for your question, Elliot. The saying comes from an Alexander Poem called An Essay on Man, Epistle I (1733). It goes like this:

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin’d from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

What Pope Alexander means here is that no matter the circumstances, man will always hope for the best – thinks that better things will come down the road. We may not always act our best, but we have the potential to be better in the future. No matter how bad things have been, they can always get better.

Fuck you, Elliot. I see what you did. This is the most misleading idiom every. It’s dog shit. Sure things can always get better, but they won’t. Maybe for a week, but that’s only to spring more eternal, if you will. It is meant to crush you even more. Fantasy is meant to paper cut you a thousand times until you drip blood and slowly, slowly die. Sure, Percy Harvin may accumulate 133 yards, but you know what? Rodgers and Nelson are gonna score 73. It’s dog shit. Fantasy football is dog shit. There is no hope.

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