TCFFL Week 3 Power Rankings: Luck of BoLay Edition

Posted on September 19, 2013 by


Power Rankings

For some in the TCFFL, optimism rules the day. The sun is shining, children are playing, and local teens are huffing spray paint cans down by the river and sharing a laugh. It’s like living in a dream you never want to wake up from.

For others in the TCFFL, the world has become an apocalyptic nightmare where the only saving grace is the thought that 2014’s season will be a chance to start over. A chance to to throw off the shackles of a bad draft and a Curse that causes the heart and soul of your team to take a backseat to the 3rd overall pick from last year’s draft in a trade that makes no sense besides the fact that it must have been executed only to hurt a man who has already suffered so much.

And then there is Mike Lay.

On to the power rankings.

1. Blue Polaski’s Boys: Two Weeks, two highest scorer pay-outs. The BPB’s cannot be stopped. For years GM Mike Lay’s team has always been competitive but unexciting – a fringe contender who never seemed to make the leap to champion. But now everything has changed. Now people aren’t asking, ‘Can the BPB’s win a title?’ but instead, ‘Can the BPB’s run the table and put together an undefeated season?’ This squad looks unstoppable. As they go for the 13-0 dream season, the BPB’s have one major asset that could help them go where no TCFFL team has gone before: GM Mike Lay, a bottom 10% contributor, is not going to be a guy who fusses and over-manages his team. If the Boys keep performing, they’ll keep being given the opportunity to play. Week 3 opponent GM Justin Thorington is talking a big game about waking Lay up from this wet dream of a season, and the Battle of the Boys should be quite a showdown, but all money is on Bolay’s poppa taking home his first title of the modern age.

2. Pitness Initiative: From draft-day laughing stock to legit contender in a matter of weeks, GM Jason Anderson is another one who’s not going to over-manage his team. In fact, many are wondering if he’s looked at his roster since draft day. But it may be for the best as Pitness have exploded out of the gate to a 2-0 start and third most points in the league. Peyton Manning is competing with Ahmad Bradshaw for pick of the draft and the Pitness biggest question mark going into the season, their run game led by Comeback Player of the Year Knowshon Moreno, hasn’t held them back at all.

3. Tommy Wiseau’s Close-Quarters Football Club: GM Jeff Spencer has a juggernaut on his hands, it’s just unfortunate for the TWCQFC they had to run into the BPB buzz-saw in Week 2. But the outlook for AKPSI’s finest is full of roses and very little thorns. 266 points through 2 weeks, great locker room chemistry, and always active in trade talks, Tommy Wiseau’s gang is going to be in this thing for the long haul. The icing on the cake for Spencer? Greg Sestero’s tell-all book about the filming of the Room drops next week.

4. Pacific Island Boys: After years of giving the league everything he’s got from the administrative-side, the most heart-warming story of the year goes to GM Justin Thorington’s ascent to the top of the league. The PIB’s are for real this year and should stay at the top of a weak Kings division for most of the season. The big question mark remains: Will the often-antsy JG Thorington trade his way out of contention?

5. J Paper Thin Skins: The team most likely to make a late-season run, GM Rob Lay has emerged as the leading contender for the 2013 ROTY. Jinxes have been flying against poor Ronald Weasel’s GM Tom Aprik this week, and as everyone knows, managers don’t come much luckier than Lay. The Thin-Skins namesake is known for his, well, Thin Skin, and it remains to be seen if one bad week will derail the entire season for the early 90’s Buffalo Bills of the TCFFL.

6. Showtime: GM Nick Loynes team is going to live and die on the legs of RB’s Adrian Peterson and Reggie Bush. Bush exceeded the over/under limit on how many injuries he could sustain in the first 8 quarters of the season (the line was set at 12) and if he misses extended time, the most heartless GM in the league could lose the heart of his team. Known as the worst trade-partner in the league, Showtime’s not going to put a realistic offer together to help his team so it’s boom or bust for the roster he’s got.

7. Italian Ice: You can never count out Ice GM Nick Pinto. A roster of big names with high ceilings and low floors is going to make this team one hell of a show, but the big worry is can a team led by Colin Kaepernick and Joique Bell really contend for a title?

8. Weekend at Bernie’s: In the ‘Tussle of the Twins’, GM Josh Thorington’s crew came out the loser. But all is not lost. Thorington has familial allies in the league and a willingness to trade that never has the badly-named WaB’s far from contention. An under-the-radar candidate for ROTY, WaB needs to show some consistency. But in a wide-open Kings Division, anything is possible.

9. Boobies in America: ‘Where have you gone, Ahmad Bradshaw? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.” One week, the most heartwarming story of the year. The next: Pain and sadness. It looked like RB Ahmad Bradshaw was poised to be another one of GM Dennis Lazar’s incredible sleeper picks – the kind widely criticized on draft day who is the first to hoist the trophy at the end of the year – but with the Colt’s inexplicable trade for Trent Richardson, the Boobies season is over. With absolutely no WR production, the Boobs are looking to 2014 with a heavy heart.

10. Cincinnati Bowties: Minor injuries are being given the attention of nuclear catastrophes by GM Will Kerridge, but you can just see a “hobbled” Ray Rice going for 60 yards and 2 Touchdowns this week. The panic has set in for the formerly-great GM, noticeable by a marked crankiness on GroupMe, and the Bowties will need a calm, steady hand to guide them through these early injury-riddled weeks. Does Kerridge have what it takes or are the Bowties coming untied?

11. Ronald Weasels: GM Tom Aprik hasn’t been the same since he won the TCFFL title 3 years ago. Another GM who’s not great at trading has already paid the price by dishing Demaryious Thomas and then getting slaughtered by him 3 days later. Will Aprik be too scared to make any more big moves? If he doesn’t, the Weasels are headed back underground.

12. Dumblethor’s Army: Oof.

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