Week 6 Power Rankings: The Rodney Dangerfield Edition

Posted on October 11, 2013 by


Trades were flying and only Mike Lay wasn’t buying. An intense week of juice-sharing  between TCFFL GM’s has reshaped the league in Week 6. The highlight of a busy week occurred when JPTS squirted Drew Brees and DeAngelo Williams into GM Tom Aprik’s eye, while The Ronald Weasels put a bow on Brady and Marshall and shipped them back to GM Rob Lay. For the record, the Ronald Weasels had a draft-day WR duo of Demaryious “I’m too lazy to spell check his first name” Thomas and Brandon Marshall. In week 6, the Weasels WR corps is made up of a couple trash cans and a rotten pumpkin that has been sitting out all year. Tough stuff for the 1-5 Aprik, as Weasel fans are getting antsy at not having tasted even the slightest bit of success since the team’s Championship many years ago.

On to the rankings.

1. Pitness Initiative: It’s crazy this roster looked so bad on draft day when it looks so good now. Frank Gore is literally disrespected every year and every year he continues to perform solidly.

Frank Gore and GM Jason Anderson are awarded 4 out of 5 Rodney Dangerfield “I can’t get no respect” icons.

Rodney 4

2. Jackie Paper Thin Skins: With his Thursday Night Football GroupMe performance after his blatant thievery of poor Tom Aprik, Rob Lay shoots up both the TCFFL league standings and the top of the ROTY rankings. GM Lay is the real king of jinxes and even attending a live NFL game can’t keep him away.

JPTS doesn’t deserve respect and is awarded No Rodney’s.


3. Blue Polaski’s Boys: The weight of being league favorite proved to be too much but GM Mike Lay is not out of anything. His fear of trading may prove to be a good thing (at the least, he won’t be pulling a Tome). Expect the BPB’s to be competitive all year.

GM Mike Lay is vocal about the disrespect he feels from the league, which earns him and his team two Rodney’s.

Two Rodney's

4. Weekend at Bernie’s: The lowest Points Against has WaB at the top of the King’s Division but GM Josh Thorington’s lack of challenges so far means his team is still an unknown entity. Fred Jackson could be one of the picks of the draft but Cam Newton will likely prove to be the team’s big weakness. For a 4-1 team, not many people are talking about Bernie. For this, they’re awarded three Rodney’s.

3 Rodney's5. Showtime: Adrian Peterson’s domestic troubles could hurt GM Nick Loynes this week. If asked for comment, Loynes would undoubtedly respond, “I don’t care about AP’s son. He’s off the team. And if he was in my fantasy league I’d kick him out of that too.” Showtime deserves 0 Rodney’s.


6. Pacific Island Boys: GM JG Thorington has the strongest WR corps in the league and he’s riding them to glory. The 2012 BIA team proved that you can win a title with strong WR and dirt RB’s, but it takes a GM of great skill to do it. JG Thorington still needs to prove himself, but the sky is the limit for the PIB’s. However, the sheer fact the team employs Trent Richardson, who has been killed in the media the past two weeks, earns them one Rodney.

Rodney7. Boobies in America: The 2013 BIA team is answering the question, “What happens when an immovable force (the awful BIA roster) meets an unstoppable object (GM Dennis Lazar’s unparalleled management)?” So far, BIA has outperformed all expectations. Lazar is a miracle worker, but keeping this team in contention all year would be his greatest feat. In a move that will surprise no one, BIA are awarded 5 Rodney’s – no matter what they do, they just can’t get no respect.

5 Rodneys8. Cincinnati Bowties: After committing highway robbery on GM Dylan Thorington, the Bowties are stacked once again. The only thing holding them back from getting back into the playoff race is GM Will Kerridge’s insistence that Stephen Jackson is a good player. Still, the Alf/Ray Rice duo deserves more attention than currently being given. For that, the Bowties get two Rodney’s.

Two Rodney's9. Italian Ice: GM Nick Pinto’s strategy of veteran big-names sucks this year. More would be said, but Pinto won’t bother to read it. No Rodney’s.

20121019-173127.jpg10. Tommy Wiseaus Close-Quarters Football Club: Poor Tommy. Poor, poor Tommy. And poor GM Jeff Spencer. The curse is strong with this team who now find themselves without Julio Jones for the rest of the season. The Wiseaus are the feel-bad story of the year and it seems like it would take a miracle to keep it together all year. The Wiseau’s are awarded 4 Rodney’s because they can’t get no respect…from the Universe.

Rodney 411. Ronald Weasels: GM Tom Aprik only avoids the bottom spot in the rankings because it’s yet to be seen how his team performs post-JPTS trade. Aprik has made panic deal after panic deal while ignoring offers that would actually improve his team. On the other hand, he did just land Drew Brees who can never be written off, even though the league is trying to do just that. For Drew Brees alone, the Weasels are awarded 3 Rodney’s.

3 Rodney's12. Dumblethor’s Army: There aren’t enough “poors” in the world to do justice to GM Dylan Thorington this year. Season after season, there is hope that the youngest Thorington can turn the fantasy corner. But this year, like each one before, proves that DA just aren’t there yet. Thorington has some pieces, but they don’t add up to a whole. 1 Rodney, out of pity.


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