TCFFL Week 7 Power Rankings: The Good and the The Garbage Edition

Posted on October 15, 2013 by


Power Rankings

Week 6 in the TCFFL was one of the most historic in league history.

It was a week that saw the greatest roster in TCFFL history come together (JPTS).

It was a week that saw the greatest manager in league history cement his legacy with a feel-good performance in the face of unbelievable adversity and rattiness (BIA).

It was a week that saw the worst roster management in league history (RW).

It was a week where thieves (CBT) and victims (DA) came together to make moves.

It was a week where the formerly downtrodden found redemption (TWCQFC) and previously unstoppable forces met their match (PI).

Week 6 in the TCFFL was the week where nothing was decided – except for the League Championship matchup.

1. Jackie Paper Thin Skins:

The Good: GM Rob “North Face” Lay fleeced GM Tom Aprik to build arguably the best team ever seen in 7 years of TCFFL play. Reading the JPTS roster from top-to-bottom, you might get confused and think you’re scanning the list of the 2018 NFL Hall of Fame Class. But rest assured you are not. Call Rob Lay a homeless child on Christmas, because for some reason people just love giving him gifts. When GM Nick Loynes had some kind of momentary brain malfunction and offered Lay two great players for the price of one sub-par one, the fate of the 2013 was determined. How good is this team? The JPTS bench would be ranked in the top 5 of these power rankings.

The Garbage: Rob Lay hates clutter in his living space. Now he’ll have to deal with the Dusty in his living room for an entire year.

2. Cincinnati Bowties:

The Good: Will “Wormtongue” Kerridge has made a career off lopsided trades with DA GM Dylan Thorington. 2013 proved to be no different. Shipping off Danny “10 points is my peak” Woodhead and Leveon “Literally 1 career game” Bell for a consensus top 8 pick (Alfred Morris) and incredible QB Phillip Rivers turned the Bowties season around. If Ray Rice gets going again, Kerridge may have a chance to upset Lay in the finals.

The Garbage: Wormtongue took things to a new low on Sunday in the GroupMe chat. You could almost feel his tongue slithering into JG Thorington’s ear after every play. A weird obsession with fellow GM Dennis Lazar has the league worried – especially since UM Football’s upcoming slate will likely send Kerridge over the edge. #2 in the PR but #1 in the hearts of ROTY voters everywhere.

3. Pitness Initiative:

The Good: Calvin Johnson was ineffective and Peyton Manning had his first subpar game but GM Jason Anderson’s boys still stayed close against the league’s highest scoring team this week.

The Garbage: Anderson’s lack of activity could hurt him if PI’s rut continues: it takes effort to make a trade and effort you ain’t gonna get from the Pitness GM.

4. Weekend at Bernie’s:

The Good: The league’s best record. A huge week from Cam Newton. One of the most complete rosters in the league from top to bottom. A twin with back problems he can one day give sensual massages to. This was a great week for GM Josh Thorington.

The Garbage: WAB’s fatal flaw is being the same division as the Jackie Paper Thin Skins. The early wins will help but these guys haven’t faced a true test yet: When a juggernaut like the JPTS or Bowties gets in front of them, will it be fight or flight?

5. Tommy Wiseau’s Close Quarters Football Club:

The Good: Julio who? TWCQFC threw off the shackles of a few weeks of Curse and blasted their way to highest score of the week, handing Pitness Initiative their first loss of the year. Jamal Charles continues to be the greatest non-Peyton Manning fantasy player alive and there will be no cries of “WHY, LACY, WHY!?” this week: Eddie is a stud. And 26 from the KC defense! Bye-Bye Curse, hello Nurse (who treats patients hangovers after they celebrate a fantasy playoff berth too hard).

The Garbage: 4 Receptions for 89 yards from GM Jeff’s Spencer’s two starting WR’s. Spencer’s white-bread attempt to stay neutral in arguments has TQCQFC fans hoping the old saying “Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything” isn’t true.

6. Italian Ice:

The Good: Justin Blackmon finally blows up. Same for Arian Foster. Julius Thomas gets more targets than a fat girl at the TCFFL draft weekend. Also, hey I remember you, MJD!

The Garbage: Not much to complain about for the Italian Ice besides the one nagging concern: Can Colin Kaepernick win you a fantasy championship?

7. BIA:

The Good: GM Dennis Lazar is prompting reminders of 2013 Lebron James: Just when you thought he couldn’t get any better, he goes and completely blows away expectations. This is fantasy managing at its very finest: The team may not keep it up, but Lazar has already himself a place in the Hall of Fame. Also, Brandon Jacobs.

The Garbage: The BIA TE spot continues to be a black hole. Andrew Luck didn’t break 10 points. JPTS in their division. Constant jinxes from GM Will Kerridge. Had to be on the receiving end of a sad week from JG Thorington. A lone voice of truth in a crowd that prefers lies.

8. Blue Polaski’s Boys:

The Good: Mike sold his house!

The Garbage: Oof. Well first, even though everyone knew Demarco Murray was going to get hurt, GM Mike Lay was too scared to deal him in time. Now Bryce Brown is the Iams Pet Food “Woof” Starter of the Week at RB for the BPB. Being early-season league favorite is not an easy cross to bear and with three straight losses, BPB fans are wondering if Lay has what it takes to perform when the pressure is on. A panic trade is no-doubt coming, now it’s time to just hope for the best.

9. Showtime:

The Good: They still have AP and Reggie Bush

The Garbage: Literally everything else. GM Nick Loynes traded the #3 QB and #2 TE for the #9 QB this week. Showtime put up 74 points. Jimmy Graham dropped a goose-egg. Dwayne Bowe is looking like a poor man’s Mike Williams. Not even Tampa Bay’s Mike Williams but Mike Williams the former Lions WR.

10. Pacific Island Boys:

The Good: JG Thorington came back a bit from his behavior on Sunday in the GroupMe chat. The Aaron Rodgers for Andrew Luck trade worked out this week in the PIB’s favor….That’s really about it.

The Garbage: 66 Points. One of the rattier performances we’ve ever seen from a GM on a Sunday. Trent Richardson’s 2 yards per carry. James Jones injury. Pierre Thomas’ late game fumble. Only one player in double figures. Only one TD in the entire BIA/PIB matchup. Thorington needs to right the ship quick – and that starts with the attitude at the top of the organization.

12. (tie) Dumblethor’s Army:

The Good: Matt Stafford had a nice game. GM Dylan Thorington doesn’t seem to be near the top of the ROTY race for once.

The Garbage: Victim of another fleecing, via the DA/CBT trade. One reception from Torrey Smith. Only 1 (QB-produced) Touchdown on the entire roster. A 1-5 record that’s almost guaranteed to keep the playoffs out of the Army’s grasp for yet another year.

12. (tie) Ronald Weasels:

The Good: Anyone in need of help on Christmas knows GM Aprik can do one hell of a job gift-wrapping their presents for them. Vernon Davis had an insane 34 points. DeAngelo Williams continues his career revitalization with 14 solid points. The fact that time continues moving forward and the 2013 season will end at some point.

The Garbage: Sends his best player to JPTS for pennies on the dollar. Gave away his other top 5 WR for an IOU for pennies on the dollar. A team with no direction or purpose. A broken down car on the freeway on Monday morning symbolized the team’s current state: GM Tom Aprik at the wheel of a team that’s stalled out and going nowhere.

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