Week 4 Power Rankings: The Protest Edition

Posted on September 25, 2014 by


Power Rankings

There’s something about a grown man, who is literally in charge of saving lives, throwing a week-long temper tantrum in his fantasy football league that has us thinking about other ineffective protests going on throughout the TCFFL.

So in Week 4, we take a look at what causes TCFFL GM’s are making a stand for.

1. Jackie Paper Thin-Skins


Everybody relax. Even the ’96 Bulls lost 10 games. The only thing that matters is that the Thin Skins have 50 more points than anyone else and no one is going to stop them when it matters. This is a team that’s built to last. Every one of their players is the best at their position in the entire NFL.

2. Blue Polaski’s Boys


What a shock: Another season of the BPB’s cruising along quietly to a playoff spot. While outspoken younger brother Rob hogs the spotlight with talk of 12 year old basketball players who have shaken hands with John Beilein, GM Mike Lay is content to curl up with his growing family and watch the wins pile up. The league’s only undefeated team faces a tough Ronald Weasel squad in week 4 – which could be a preview of the battle for 2nd place at the end of the year.

3. Ronald Weasels


As GM Tom Aprik rubs elbows with fellow 1%ers in Martha’s Vineyard this week, Weasel fans are starting to worry about the team’s preparation for its huge week 4 match-up against the BPB’s. It may be a life of champagne wishes and caviar dreams for the Weasels owner, but without Tom’s undivided attention, the RW fan-base could be forced to survive on table scraps.

4. Italian Ice


Italian Ice GM Nick Pinto may have encountered his first ever league controversy this week when he quickly responded to an accidental trade offer from JG Thorington – proving that the Ice GM does actually have access to phone technology (and the ability to email once or twice a year)… But if Pinto does start participating, he’d be wise to wait until after his week 4 matchup with the TC Ticklers, to avoid a week-straight of jinxes by GM Josh Thorington.

5. Boobies In America


Tell us if you’ve heard this one before: BIA GM D.R. Lazar Jr. signs on to groupme, not having extended any trade offers all week. He, as head of the TFPA, advises the league members offering up deals to do so in good faith and with realistic offers. GM Lazar is then attacked with calls to “look in the mirror”, even though, again, he hadn’t been making any offers himself… And thus continues the saga of the most attacked man on the planet. It’s interesting that after sending out 5 congratulatory emails before Sunday when he faced BIA in week 3, GM Josh Thorington hasn’t made a peep about his matchup this week… It’s clear that no matter who BIA plays, poor GM D.R. Lazar Jr. will be in the cross-hairs… The Boobies are riddled with byes this week against a strong Bowties team out for revenge.

6. Tommy Wiseau Close-Quarter Football Club


Poor, poor Wiseaus. 17 roster moves and GM Jeff Spencer is still seeking an identity for his team… Second Most Points Against (besides JPTS, which doesn’t even count)… Thirty more points than the DA with one less win to show for it… It’s been tough going for the Wiseaus so far in their championship defense, but a toast-filled trade with the loaf of bread himself, Josh Thorington, has hopes high in the Bay Area. And nothing ails a team quite like a visit from the Aptos Sharks, who the Wiseaus play this week.

7. TC Ticklers


After a shameful week against BIA in Week 3, the TC Ticklers face off against Italian Ice in week 4. It’s unclear what GM Josh Thorington will do, being unable to jinx a man who’s not online – but the injury-prone Ticklers need a solution fast. And we’re not sure Kendall Wright and Joique “TD’s? Who needs ’em” Bell are going to be the answer. But there is hope. And hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies. (Credit: Andy Dufresne, Shawshank) ..Basically, the annual Josh robs Dylan trade has got to be happening soon.

8. Dumblethor’s Army


Call us crazy, but we’re not quite ready to buy into the Dumblethor’s Army hype, even after GM Dylan Thorington jumped out to two wins in three weeks. It takes a lot to compete all season, and Thorington is new to the playoff hunt. If the Army hope to march into the playoffs, Thorington is going to need to pull off some moves: but Dylan’s unwillingness to make offers that even get a ticket on a train to the ballpark where fair and realistic offers go to play, could hold them back.

9. Pacific Island Boys


Another story we’ve heard before: GM JG Thorington’s declining effort and interest in the TCFFL is the main thing holding back the PIB’s from playoff contention. The PIB GM and Dansville AD is often MIA on the daily GroupMe chats that are vital to keeping track of the league comings and goings. And when JG does appear, he’s prone to bouts of grumpiness. Not exactly the best way to get roster-improving deals done. But with the past successes he’s had running the league, JG deserves to be known as the “Comeback Kid” – and we wouldn’t put a mid-season resurgence past him.

10. Cincinnati Bowties


Everyone has been kicked out of GroupMe at one point or another. It’s how discipline is maintained. Beyond that, if CBT GM Will Kerridge isn’t going to participate, we’re not going to participate in writing his Power Rankings section.

11. Showtime


It’s at the point for Showtime where, for at least the last two weeks, other league members have had to email GM Nick Loynes on Sunday to replace inactive players on his roster. Always hanging onto his league spot by a thread, a bad start on the field could be the thing that pushes Loynes the final couple inches into completely not caring. On the other hand, it’s not all Loynes’ fault. 391 Points Against is by far the most in the league (did he play the Thin Skins twice or something?) – and few teams (beyond the Thin Skins) could be competitive against scoring like that. If a match-up against the lowly PIB’s in Week 4 can’t fix things, Showtime could be in real trouble.

12. Aptos Sharks


Yes they got a win. No Showtime doesn’t have one. But the fact is, it’s impossible to rank the Sharks any higher when they’ve scored 50 points less than the next lowest team. But hope can be found even in the darkest of places, if one simply remembers to turn on the light (credit: Albus Dumbledore, HP: POA – Movie only): QB Kirk Cousins could be the just the spark-plug that GM Jason Anderson needs to get a fire lit under his boys. A born leader, Cousins could fill the void left by the Shark GM’s inactive track record.


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